RELUCTANT SPOUSE WORK SHEET

STEP ONE: WHY IS THE SPOUSE RELUCTANT?

STEP TWO: WHAT ARE THE RESOURCES:

A. Examine the relationship of the Reluctant Spouse (R/S) with:

____Children

____Family

____Friends

____Neighbors

____Clergy

____Physicians

____Mental Health Professionals

Marriage Counsellors, Children’s Therapists, Spouses Therapists

____Educators and Guidance Counsellors

____Human Resources Personnel

____Mentors

____Others

Can any of the above be of assistance in getting the R/S to consider Collaborative Divorce?

1. Provide the R/S with: Print Material and internet resources. 
2. Other: ___________________________________

STEP THREE: ARE THERE ETHICAL ISSUES?

Can I communicate with the non-client R/S?

          Written or Verbal?                                                                   

Is the non-client R/S represented by an Attorney?

• Can I have indirect contact with the R/S through:
• The Willing Spouse?
• Team and non-team members?
• Non-professional third parties? 
• Other divorce clients?
• Mental health providers, family counsellors, marriage counsellors?
• Do I need a written authorization to contact any of the above?
• What are the ethical requirements of my profession?
• Are there ethics opinions that address my concerns?
• Should I request an ethics opinion?
• What are the ethical requirements in my jurisdiction?
• Are there other ethical concerns?

STEP FOUR:  WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES

1. Write to the R/S.
2. Educate the R/S.
3. Make available articles, books, internet sites, etc. to the R/S.  
4. Meet with the R/S:
   1. Alone?
   2. Both spouses together?
5. Schedule a 4 way meeting
   1. Refer the couple to a Collaborative Consultant
   2. Have a team member work with the R/S
      1. How will this be paid for:
      2.  No charge?
      3.  By the Willing Spouse?
      4.  Other
6. Contact (reach) the R/S through a non-team member:  
   1. Friend
   2. Family member
   3. Clergy
   4.  Mentor
   5. Prior client
   6. Other _________
   7. Other: ____________________________________
   8. Last Resort: Should Summons be served?

STEP FIVE: PREPARE A PLAN OF ACTION­